Thoughts on Church

This morning, Heidi and I went to a service at Holy Trinity Church, Cambridge. Part of the Church of England, Holy Trinity dates back some 800 years and is beautiful with its high, arched ceilings; white stone walls; and sunlight streaming in through stained glass. Ironically, in this morning's service, the ancient architecture was juxtaposed with two giant Powerpoint screens at the front of the sanctuary and guitars for worship.

I was struck by the contrast between this service and the one we went to mid-week at King's College Chapel. At King's College, the service was highly liturgical; the role of the congregant was simply to listen, to sit and stand and kneel at the appropriate times. This morning though, we participated in the singing and were addressed more informally by the pastor. It makes me wonder what it must have felt like during the Reformation, to be offered for the first time the ability to participate, to have a voice in seeking God.

On one hand, there is something about the elaborate formality of the King's College service that is stirring, the sound of the perfectly harmonized choir ringing above you, seeming to swell and rise to the vaulted ceilings, speaks of awe and wonder, of the majesty of a God before whom we must be still and speechless. And yet, this morning's service, with voices joined in unison, the man beside me singing off key, a baby crying a few pews over, speaks of a God who asks not for perfect order, but for our response, our voices.

Week One Pictures

Since Week One is almost over, I thought it was time for some pictures to give you a feel for where I am...

St. Catherine's - my room is in the center tower

Cool shot of St. Magdalene College

My bedroom

So far, I've had a fun weekend - last night, I went with a few other GMU students to see Much Ado About Nothing in the courtyard of King's College. It was a beautiful night, so it was a lot of fun. Then we stopped at a pub afterwards. Today's been relaxing - sleeping in, wondering about the city a bit (which is crazy with all the tourists), taking a jog along the River Cam. I'm headed out in a few minutes to help one of the GMU girls celebrate her birthday! Should be fun...

Middle School All Over Again

Studying in an international summer program is a strange context. Most of the people here have come on their own, either knowing no one at all or only knowing a few people from their university by face. The feeling of utter friendlessness is heightened by everyone's awareness of being in a different culture, where the structures of life as it is comfortable have been removed.

It's been fascinating to watch myself and others navigate the insecurities that this unique context raises. Some people opt to find that one person to do everything with. Others, and I for the most part fall into this category, ally themselves with a small group that they can float into and out of at will. Still others seem completely independent, either withdrawn into their own worlds or engaging a wide variety of people without needing to be really attached to any of them.

It feels a bit like middle school to me, like everyone's feeling out the social waters, not sure exactly where they, or anyone else for that matter, stands. I realized last night that it's easy for me in this kind of context to become completely self-centered, worrying about not wanting to be alone, trying to make everyone like me. It does not come naturally for me to shift my focus elsewhere - to think about the insecurities of others, to find ways to serve and bless them, to spend time and social energy on others who may not have as much to offer me. The desperation for the approval of others, which is present in my heart at all times, becomes much more pronounced when I'm removed from the security of those I know and trust.

It's realizations like these which I think are an important part of stepping outside one's culture and comfort zone periodically. I become much more aware of the reality of my own heart and its less than desireable motives.

Being Brilliant

The British use the word "brilliant" the way we use the word "cool" or "awesome," but I'm going to use it the American way in this post. We have these lectures every morning, after our first class, by various university professors, and today I listened in awe for an hour to an absolutely brilliant woman discuss the agony and the ecstacy, categorized together as the sublime, as they are represented in tragedy and comedy, ancient to modern. Every sentence that came out of her mouth felt like it could have been a graduate thesis, and yet they all linked together seemlessly and . . . brilliantly. The best part was that she's this petite red-head who looked about 25 and was 4 or 5 months pregnant, very quiet and unassuming.

Being here has made me realize how much I don't know, how much there is to know, how much I'd like to be able to give a brilliant lecture, how much the academic is a world that both fascinates and repels me. I love to think about and understand things, to see connections, to be well-read on a variety of topics, and yet, pursuing that in and of itself feels tiresome to me. As much as I'd like to be able to enthrall an audience with the things I say, to be able to come up with an idea that no one's ever considered before, doing that simply for the sake of doing it feels somehow empty. And so I wonder, what does one really gain by being brilliant? In what ways is brilliance worth pursuing, and in what ways is it ultimately disastisfying? Something I'm pondering here on the other side of the pond :)

Sonnet of the Day

Sonnet LXVIII by Edmund Spenser

Most glorious Lord of life that on this day,
Didst make thy triumph over death and sin:
and having harrowed hell didst bring away,
captivity thence captive us to win.
This joyous day, dear Lord, with joy begin,
and grant that we for whom thou didest die
being with thy dear blood clean washed from sin,
may forever live in felicity.
And that thy love we weighing worthily,
may likewise love thee for the same again:
and for thy sake that all like dear didst buy,
with love may one another entertain.
So let us love, dear love, like as we ought,
love is the lesson which the Lord us taught.

Note: We've been studying Shakespeare's predecessors in my sonnet class, and now that I'm actually awake enough to pay attention, I'm really enjoying it. The Jane Austen class is good too...

Things I've Learned So Far!

1. Keyboards in the UK (or at least Cambridge) do not have a shift key on the right hand side where it's supposed to be. Instead there's a \ - rather annoying.

2. Drinking coffee at dinner is not a good idea - even when you're jet-lagged, it can keep you up until 2 a.m!

3. Playing Solitaire on your I-pod can relieve frustration when you're still awake at 1 a.m.

4. Americans (myself included) are impatient people - the students from GMU have been frustrated that people don't walk up the elevators ("lifts"), that people don't walk fast enough, that dinners (even in the dining hall) are 3-course meals that take up an hour and a half of your time. I kind of like how everything's slower...

5. British university involves lots of lecturing - good lecturing - but hard to follow when jet-lagged...

6. Cooked mushrooms for breakfast aren't that bad...but I'm still not brave enough to try the baked beans and stewed tomatoes.

7. The British are way more energy-conscious than we are. There are little signs everywhere reminding you to turn off the lights when you leave the bathroom, etc.

8. The dining hall at Hogwarts is for real - the professors really do have a special raised table!

More to follow soon...

Cambridge at Last!

St. Catherine's College

Well, after many long queues at Dulles and Heathrow and a flight delay of several hours, my friend Heidi and I finally arrived at Cambridge today via bus around 1 p.m. From what I've seen so far, the town is beautiful - quaint, old buildings everywhere, a river running right through town, a charming college atmosphere. The weather's wonderful - breezy and 70's!

I'm staying at St. Catherine's (a division of Cambridge - not sure yet how all of that works). It's gorgeous on the outside, but less than luxurious inside. My room's spacious though, and the food we were served tonight for dinner was fantastic.

I'm actually not too tired, though I only slept for a few hours on the plane last night. But I'm off to watch the second half of the World Cup finals. Classes start tomorrow morning. I'll try to write more soon...and attach some pictures!

Joining the Dark Side

After years of making fun of people who had time to write or read blogs, I'm finally joining the dark side. My excuse is that I'll be traveling in the UK for the next 5 weeks and that this will provide a space for me to share travel updates and pictures without flooding everyone with mass e-mails. We'll see if I end up using it for other purposes after that!

So if you're interested in hearing about my trip and what I'm thinking and learning, check in periodically. I will try to post pretty regularly. But for now, it's back to the packing and laundry!